Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
