the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
