Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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