SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
