I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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