I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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