yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
