Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
