sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I intend to get homeless drunk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
did i just pee glitter
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
