their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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