so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
