please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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