She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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