I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
