Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
