If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
