There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
