you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
