Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
