so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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