You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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