I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
