I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
