You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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