I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
