Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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