Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
