Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
