I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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