K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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