thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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