your thong is hanging out like whoa
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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