I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
