The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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