is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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