I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
