I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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