Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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