there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
