Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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