It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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