Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my sisters under your porch take her home
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
