She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
