I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
