R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
