All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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