Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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