I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This baby is an asshole
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
