her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
