found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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